Better In My Head

I was at work the other day and two things came up in conversation that gave me pause.

The first was a discussion about not finishing ‘things’. The main laugh was that when you have a great imagination you finish your new hobby in your head. For example, I wanted to learn to play the guitar and for months I practiced. In-between practicing I’d fantasise about being a famous guitar player, singer-song writer, and travelling the world. That fantasy included all the ups and downs. After several months I gave up because I’d achieved my dreams – albeit it was all in my head. I wasn’t alone in this phenomena.

The second thing was related to the first and I realised that I never fantasised about being a famous author. I guess then that makes sense because I finished novels. But was writing real novels better than what I could have fantasised about? The funny thing is I keep thinking of that special that came out showcasing George Martin and Rowling. They had those thrones on stage – do you remember? I can’t find a link to show so maybe it was a dream. Somehow I don’t think a fantasy of sitting on a throne, as the ultimate ideal of success, works for the fantasy phenomena for a writer. The fact is writing is more about the journey, losing yourself in the story, and building relationships with your characters. What could possibly beat the magic that happens?

Somewhere I lost the joy of that journey and not because I finished actual novels (dream achieved), certainly not because I became famous (because that certainly isn’t the case), it was because I got lost in the processing and publishing process and worries that I just can’t market my work (final acceptance). I’ve finally come to accept that I write for a reason other than money or wanting fans or reviews. I write because I love it. It’s where my fantasy mirrors my writing experience.

So, the brown bird (me) does transform to the prettier blue bird but for a completely different reason. I don’t need to fantasise about being a writer because by writing I can achieve the real thing, ironically, by creating a fantasy world. Cool huh?

What’s better than in my head? Being in my head.

Case closed.

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